I'm not ready for this

22 November 2017

Hi and Welcome to Kylie's Life,

This morning I have had to do something that I new would happen but honestly wasn't prepared for it.  I had to take Carrissa to High School today, she is doing a bridging class ( there is a huge difference between Western Australian and Victoria Education standards, and WA is behind) now this is going to be going on in the school year - it gets put in her timetable.
So dropping her off ( I hung around for as long as possible) I kinda had the thought she is soo little, I can't believe that she is going to high school next year, Oscar is in his last year of Primary School next year and then he will be off to high school and before I know it they will be Graduating and going off into the big wide world without me.

They are not going to need me to help them as much, won't need me to tie shoe laces, pack their lunch and that is kinda scary.  Now I am not a helicopter parent if the kids fell over I would pick them up dust them off give them a cuddle and then send them off to play - and they generally did what caused them to tumble.  I never wrapped them in cotton wool, I let them play in the dirt, l let them try things I didn't wish the time away but now I am wishing that I could wind the time clock back just so I could have more time with them.

After reading that it makes it sound like I am heading into a mid-life crisis, I don't think it is.  I am just not ready for the next chapter of my life, now I don't plan on becoming mutton dressed as lamb, getting a sports car or doing anything like that but I am left to wonder how I am supposed to deal with the kids growing up so fast, them not needing me as much.  Yes they still need me but now it is going to be different I am going to have to transition to being a friend and not the boss.......how do I do that?
I think my first step is realising that I have kept the little humans alive this long and to relax the reins, it is now time to guide them and hope that they go the right way instead of dragging them along.

So now I am going to have a coffee and quietly sob in the corner as I look at baby photos of the kids

Toodles xxxxxx