Adoption

9 November 2017

Hi and Welcome to Kylie's Life, todays post is going to be something out of left field, you see I have always know that Hubby and I were meant to have more children than we do.  At the time of having my two - they are not even 12 months apart, I was struggling badly.  Sleep was hard to come by, I wasn't eating properly - I just didn't feel hungry I needed help ( the Dr wanted to put me in hopsital but I said "no because then people would know there is something wrong) and by the time help had arrived I had gone in search of my own , found a routine and stuck to it - which helped greatly, I was able to control certain things and that made it so I didn't feel like my world was going to spin out of control, I joined a plagroup so that I was out of the house talking to other Adults and my kids got to play with other kids around the same age and so  it was then that we made the decision that we weren't going to have any more children.  It was through going to playgroup and my routines ( some of which I still do to this day) helped me get out of the black hole that I was in, now this is not going to work for everyone and if you feel like you can't cope please get some professionl help, talk to somebody.
I have always had in the back of my mind about adoption and I have broached the subject with Hubs at first he was dead against it but now I think he is starting to warm to the idea and give it a great deal of thought.

So I have ben researching it, finding out the process and at the same time wondering what the hell has gotten into me and if I am doing the right thing.  The rate of infant adoption are so low and the need for permanent care places a huge amount is needed.
 The difference between permanent care and adoption is the birth certificate thats it, and when the child is 18 he or she can then decide if they want their birth certificate changed.  The financial responsibilities are the same, the care is the same, the love for the child/ren is the same  I guess for me I am finding it harder to get my head around the fact that the child/ren are not going to have my last name.  Now you may think in todays day and age that is not going to make much difference but it is the sense of this is my family, our last name kinda connects us all together in one small way - a sense of belonging kinda like being part of the wolf pack for Mowgli ( Cub Scout reference sorry), so for the time being I am going to leave it up to the 7 gods ( GOT reference ) .  Am I wrong in this?  The kids keep asking for another baby brother or sister and being that I am unable to have any more children am I being selfish?  These are the questions that have been going around and around in my head, along with how is this going to affect the kids, how is this going to affect our extended family, how is this going to affect our immediate family, am I going to jump every time the phone rings, how am I gong to feel when we are matched and then the birth mother says she wants to parent her baby.  I guess the emotional side was never considered and that is something that I am going to have to really think on.

What are your thoughts? Have you been through the adoption process? Are you currently going through it?