Organisation, what is that???

6 January 2016

Ok so it is the 6 of Jan and I have not even made a start on the resolutions that I made before new year even rolled around instead I am looking at books on getting organised, being the ultimate housewife and how to entertain in style.  Now the problem with that is the fact that A: How do I start getting more organised, B:How do I become the ultimate housewife and work at the same time and C: How do I entertain in style when I have no room to do it in?  I start the year with great intentions and the best of expectations and it all falls in a hole because - the kids don't help out, I am tired, and I just can't keep up.  

If I wanted to do all of these things I would need to quit my job and well I don't really want to do that and I will explain why.  I put into a job search engine Housewife ( I wanted to see how much we would be payed if we ever got payed), and well it came back with the following answers 1- please check your spelling as we can't match your search and the best yet 2- is that a real job.  Now that felt like a real slap in the face considering what a housewife does every day, and the fact that society doesn't consider being a housewife important is another thing that made me feel like I had to go out to work.  

So now I feel guilty because I am not at home looking after the house and the family missing out on school assemblies, not able to see my kids get certificates and help out in class.  I also feel guilty when I am sick or when the kids are sick because I have to take time off which means that the other people in my team have to pick up the slack from my absence.

A heap of the books that I have been looking at can be put on my kindle, because the books I have in the bookshelf I have read that many times that I read them to quickly now and I am just getting them out because there is nothing to watch on TV.  My knitting is progressing and well I am kinda proud of myself for continuing with it - I tend to put it down and give up on it.

My quilts are progressing at a snails pace - it has been to hot to have them on my knee doing, the heat is coming again tomorrow is going to be 39 and humid, the same on Friday which probably explains why everybody is so tired and we have had power outages!!!

I was asked today what my passion is, and where it comes from and to be honest I don't have a answer and I couldn't answer them.  Is that a bad thing?, how do I develop a passion?, I used to have a passion but well that has lost its appeal so I guess that is something I could look at doing/finding - where do I find the passion, because I haven't seen any in the supermarket and in any of the stores I visit.

Maybe it is time to do a bit of inner reflection and really think about why I am doing the job I am and if that is helping me get to my goal and even if that is where I want to end up.  It is the same as being asked if you believe in whicherver faith you believe in because you were bought up that way or if it is something you truly believe in it.