Giving up on a dream

29 January 2016

Hi friends, You are probably wondering about the title of today's post and I am going to explain.  You see I have wanted to be a nurse for a long time, I wanted to be a combat nurse to be exact.  I never told anybody what I wanted to do because I never had the courage to do so, I always did what my parents told me to do and never said no.  If I was told to do hospitality - I did it, if I was told to get a job - I did it.
Hubby and I even drove to the city to find out about doing my nursing degree and by the time I had got half way home I had managed to talk myself out of it because we were living in a country town and it would mean me driving nearly a hour to get to Uni, so I drifted into childcare, becoming a Education Assistant, having Children.  All the while with the dream of being a Nurse was never to far away, then all of a sudden it was so close I was able to start getting small bits and pieces to help me get ready to study, hubby was re-located and I went to work in a field that pays the bills and is going to make life a bit easier.  Once again my dream was so close I could almost touch it then it was gone. Now I don't blame anybody but myself because I should have stood up and fought when I was younger and said this is what I want and I am going to do it.
So now at the age of nearly 40 - I am not quite there so I am going to hang onto my 30's for as long as I possibly can!!, I have accepted I am never going to achieve my dream and while I am sad, feel like I have let my kids and family down - I know I haven't because I have earned their respect for going out and getting a job I can't help but think it is a case of just another one of Kylie's wild schemes.

So  if I could go back and do it all over again what lessons could I tell a younger me?  that I should stand up and say that while you may want this I don't, not to please everybody because at some stage you are going to piss somebody off trying to keep everybody happy, and most of all stick to your guns it may be painful but it will work out in the end.

So now as I approach 40 ( is this a midlife crisis happening early???) I am going to focus on the future and not look back with regret because A: It will cause my hair to go grey B: You can't change time - you can only move forward never go back and C: I have a hubby,two amazing children that I need to look after, love.  With that I need to be the best Mum,wife,housewife and employee I can be - it has taken a back injury to realise that I am not the centre of the world, and while I will always want to help people,look after them I need to look after my family first

Ok so I have started on getting the whole family organised and getting everything written on a calendar so that we know where we all are.  The slight problem with that is the thing I am using it to stick to the fridge isn't sticking.  I did try and find a magnetic one which would have been sooo much easier than what I bought - just a thought I do have some magnets that you can use for crafting wonder if that will work?
I am going to go and find out.....wish me luck

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